There is nothing in the world that I can feel the rawness of emotion and grief of stronger, than the thought I might lose Martin. Nothing, NOTHING, comes close and honestly - I can feel my heart breaking just then..There is no rational triger for that thought and the quick image accompanying the question of what could possibly be worse. In such fraction-of-a-second moments I hate cars, airplanes, tsunamis, and deseases tera-times more than ever and everything. More than when I see them in pictures. Pictures happen to other people, while my feeling for my image is sickening .
Noone should ever have to go through such a thing. Ever. Bloody hell!
And yet some people do.